Well today was exactly one year since I started working for the NHS at City Hospital in Birmingham. And, as fate would have it, it was also my last day working there. Okay, technically I actually still work there for 3 more days - I'm just on annual leave - but for all intents and purposes my NHS days are over.
I have to admit to having been a sneaky bastard in the weeks leading up to my exit. I had been loudly and frequently announcing that this coming Friday was my last day in order to avoid a song and dance being made over me leaving, so when I told people this morning that I was lunchtime today it seemed to catch most of them off-guard. As a result there was no time for a presentation, or a leaving speech, or anything of that ilk, and I was able to say my goodbyes quietly and slip out without pomp and ceremony.
In all honesty it was a bit of a heartfelt farewell, and I did have a lump in my throat. I may only have been there a year, but I've had some good memories there, and met some good friends. I've made sure that everyone has my number who I'm willing to give it away to, so hopefully those I still think of as friends will keep in touch. Obviously I'll still be seeing the games group, but it's those outside of that group that I'll keeping an ear out for.
The ride home was a bit of a sad one, I couldn't help thinking about the people I was leaving behind. Will I be missed? Will I be forgotten as soon as my replacement arrives? I'm sure there's a few who will be as glad to see the back of me as I am to see the back of them. And then there's the matter of the NHS itself. I was so thrilled when I got this job (and beat 360 other applicants to it!), and realised I'd be working for the single biggest employer in Europe. It felt like a job with a great future, and somewhere I could truly feel pride in my work, so even though it hasn't worked out that way, I still felt as though I was letting go of a good thing. Every time anything interesting has happened in the last 3 weeks, every time I've had a good laugh with my workmates, and every time (though few, in that place) that I was given a pat on the back for doing well, I just started to question if I was doing the right thing by leaving.
But I've left now, and I just have to keep telling myself it was the right thing to do. Because it IS the right thing to do. They say the grass always looks greener on the other side, and now the NHS IS the other side, and is looking far nicer than it ever did while I was there. The money at my new place is a lot better, the responsibility is a lot greater, and quite simply having a management role under my belt is going to look great on my CV. Plus if this company grows as much as it potential should allow it, then I could end up in a senior position of a true powerhouse in its field.
But all of that is in the future. Right now, at this moment, in my last few days of NHS employment, my brain's just overloaded with doubt and questions. And it'll take a few weeks of settling in behind my new desk before I can truly put them to rest.
Bit of a solemn post here. Expect my next two to be more upbeat and infinitely more geeky. I want to have a babble about two things which have nestled quite happily into my life - one of them in the last 6 months, and one of them 7 years ago!
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