Wecome to me, please take a number and I'll be with you shortly.

Hello there, and if you're reading this then welcome to my blog.  If you're not reading this then you're not on my blog, or you're simply not paying any attention.  Either way, I don't think you've done enough to earn a welcome.  Come back tomorrow and try again - I may give you a cherry bakewell if you improve.

My name is Rob, or Robert for... well, long, I guess.  I am a writer.

I'm not an author.

What's the difference, you ask?  Well I was asked the same question by a friend once, and I instantly replied "authors get paid."  I know that's not an accurate definition in the slightest, but it just rolled off the tongue so nicely at the time that I still like to use it to this day.  I've been writing novels since I was fourteen years old, and was inspired by the work of Douglas Adams to try my hand at comedy when I was roughly eighteen.  It would be very conceited of me to say I found a flair for it, but I certainly found it was something I enjoyed, and my work seemed to get a positive reaction when circulated amongst friends.  Now, ten years later, I'm still writing comedy, but perhaps with a more refined and polished edge that only a decade of practice can grant a man.

I have just published my first comedic novel - Beware of the Seagulls - as an eBook for Kindle on Amazon, and I must confess I'm starting this blog to try and drum up a bit of attention.  However, blogging "Buy my book!!!" on a daily basis would get tedious for everyone involved, regardless of how much I choose to overuse punctuation.

So, I will be posting my thoughts, my rambles, the inner workings of my strange little mind.  I'll also be making mention of the progress I'm making on my other books, my primary project at the moment being the follow-up to 'Seagulls.  I hope that anyone reading this may take some amusement from the odd bits and pieces my head comes out with.

Thank you for listening, and enjoy the film.

...oh no, wait.  I think I'm getting confused again...